Remembering

Yesterday I had a few moments to myself, a rarity when you have five little ones to love and care for.  This time of year, the ones we have lost are close to my heart and in my mind, so I decided to stop at the cemetery to think and ponder.  As I sat beside their little stone, my heart was not filled with the sorrow of remembering that difficult year, but with all the tender mercies that my Heavenly Father provided during that heartbreaking time of loss and sorrow.  I thought about all the people who had reached out to love and care for my family at that time.  I remembered dear friends showing up with Dr. Peppers, Cheetos, Jelly Bellies and Chocolate.  A sister in law who cried with me, many times, and shared her own insights and wisdom.  So many meals that I had to call our compassionate service leader and tell her no more.  Phone calls and cinnamon rolls, cards and so many who shared their own stories of loss and struggles.  My little Emma somehow ALWAYS knew when I was sad or discouraged, whenever I would cry,she would show up and shower me with hugs and kisses, loving me better.  She was only two at the time, I am still amazed at the insight that children have about others pain and suffering.  I remember my dad putting his hands on my head and giving me a Father's Blessing, and the feeling of overpowering love that enveloped me.  Finding comfort and answers in the scriptures like I never have before or since.  As I look back at that time of trial and sorrow in my life, I am STILL amazed at the love that my Heavenly Father literally poured out upon my head.  I am thankful for that year of struggle, and all the lessons I learned from it, though I would never want to experience it again.
I thought about our little boys, and what they would be doing now.  Adrian would be about 2 1/2, William would have just turned 2, and the baby would be about 18 months old.  Our house would be filled with the chaos and noise of three toddlers, running, chasing and playing, basically wreaking havoc everywhere they go.  What joy they would bring into our WILDE house. (It would probably be much WILDER than it already is.)  As I pondered this, I remembered the impressions that Heavenly Father had given me when we learned that each of these precious little ones had passed.  I had the distinct impression that each of these valiant spirits were needed by Him.  I also thought about the blessing of the Gospel, and the peace that the Plan of Salvation brings to my heart and mind.   I know that these valiant spirits will be part of our WILDE family, someday, if we can be worthy of the blessings that Heavenly Father has promised us.
As I left the cemetery, and headed back to my hectic day and chaotic home. my mind and heart were filled with peace and love from my Father in Heaven.  I am so grateful for the love that he shares with our little Wilde family.  I am thankful for the beauty and good that surrounds me each day in this WILDE life!